The Lovers

This is one of the most complex cards of the Tarot, despite its outward simplicity. The card combines two storylines. In the classical sense, it promises profound romantic experiences, but indicates that such a step implies a choice: abandoning the previous way of life (parental home, casual affairs, etc.) and moving to a new level - the level of consciousness and the creation of Love. Only this step opens the powerful informational field contained within The Lovers card. That is why its second name is "Choice". It can also mean some other situation of choice, not necessarily related to love. In that case, it means that one way or another we will have to make a choice, decisively and irrevocably, leaving no loopholes for ourselves and taking on certain obligations in addition. The Lovers is a bold decision made by the heart. Which of the two storylines appears before us in a given case depends on the meaning of the question asked.

It is quite clear where these two meanings came from. Historically, entering into a marriage was for a long time a matter of duty and calculation, although, of course, the majority of living souls hoped for love. If the candidacy of the groom/bride did not evoke enthusiasm in anyone except the lover himself, then marrying for love became a very serious choice in life, which often called everything else into question - parental and master's favor, career, place of residence, rank, and fortune. And The Lovers in a spread warned of a difficult trial on the path, of a decision made by the heart. Moreover, not just a decision, but a very important one, made irrevocably and forever.

This is a card of a crossroads on the road that becomes a trial. A card of freedom of choice - at every step, a person faces a dilemma, to act one way or another, and the responsibility for the decision made. Thus, another meaning of the card is freedom, because a person who is not free has no choice. It also speaks of responsibility for the consequences of a choice, warning against negligence. In general, this card symbolizes the indissolubility of freedom and responsibility, of cause and effect, perhaps to a much greater extent than even Justice. Every choice is a test of strength and honesty. It is desirable that the resolution of an intrapersonal conflict be harmonious and wise, and in any case, its implementation requires a pooling of efforts.

The external meaning of the card is always and without fail caught by everyone. Considering that the majority of questions asked to the cards relate to personal life, consciousness immediately latches onto this meaning. Oh, love, wonderful! But tradition in this case wags its index finger in front of our nose - it is not all that simple! The meaning of the card is Trial! And who among us likes trials?

The meaning of the card is Choice! And for whom among us is it easy to make a choice when the soul is literally torn between two alternatives? Between the past and the future, the old and the new, whims and duty... Intrapersonal conflict - this is what The Lovers foretell.

That far from blissful state when it seems that a decision is impossible to make, and the usually clear inner voice turns into a multi-headed hydra that begins to sing out of tune in a choir, as if to say, the heart is not made of stone, but the brain is not oatmeal either... It is exactly the conflict between the heart and the mind that manifests itself most acutely, although it is not mandatory (but if the Three of Swords is nearby, for example, then it is mandatory). A person at this moment in their life is somehow at a crossroads and is faced with the necessity of making a choice, moreover, a very important one fraught with long-playing consequences. The Lovers always warn that this choice will still "come back to haunt you" (or perhaps the decision made will affect your entire subsequent life). Of course, in the most typical case, it is a choice between suppressing a desire or giving in to it. This choice can concern not only a partner, but also a profession, a journey, an educational institution, a home, a car, or a lifestyle in general. Moreover, alternatives, as a rule, are mutually exclusive; you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Old interpretations emphasize the positive meaning of The Lovers - appearing in a spread, this card says that the right choice will be made! The Lovers is a card of sincere actions, performed "not according to the law, but according to the soul," fully expressing the true aspirations of a person. Of course, passionate infatuation also applies here.

In the past position, the Sixth Arcana can indicate a choice already made, and now the person is dealing with the consequences. Acting as the significator of the querent, the card can describe a person who made a sincere choice at the behest of the soul, who dared to ignore the rules and the arguments of reason. It can also say that right now a person is facing a decision that will require courage and loyalty to themselves, and they must under no circumstances succumb to manipulation and pressure. The choice must be absolutely voluntary, without doubts and compromises. At this crossroads, one must show all their strength of spirit. This is a kind of decisive check, trial, exam.

Of course, the event-related meaning of The Lovers is a union, the appearance in life of someone who becomes a "complement." Connections full of mutual joy, attraction, relationships, a romance. Love is a divine gift and the goal of very many efforts. It is exactly about love that the majority of questions are asked in divinatory practices. Appearing in a spread, The Lovers foretell a new romance in life, even if the person did not expect it. They embody everything that is an integral part of a love connection and intimacy between people. By and large, this Arcana speaks of the presence (or possibility) of a serious romantic attachment in life, and the Minor Arcana can hint at whether the feeling is mutual, as well as what the outcome of the romance is most likely to be. If there are no negative cards around, then The Lovers serve as an omen of a wonderful relationship. For lonely people, this card is traditionally considered a harbinger of meeting a loved one, a true life companion. Moreover, the meaning of The Lovers is not to force events, frantically searching for love, but in that internal event which makes one open up to the world, makes a person truly receptive to the possibilities offered by life.

The Lovers say that a person is involved in some kind of alliance, that the situation requires joint actions, or that someone exerts a great influence on them (self-esteem heavily depends on the attitude of another). Here, the need to communicate is manifested, the search for a "common denominator," some point of view that would allow uniting opposites.

In the case of The Lovers, neighboring cards are of very great importance. There is an opinion that this Arcana "binds" the cards located on opposite sides of it. In general, the keyword of The Lovers is perhaps mutuality. It can be both love and hate. There is one step between them, and precisely because the intensity of mutual feelings is present in both cases. This card connects what once broke into halves, and is the significator of union, merging, unification, synthesis. By and large, it carries a creative energy. It is believed that as the resulting card of a spread (the outcome of the conceived matter), it promises success or at least stability (preserving the status quo).

Romantic and euphoric!

This is happiness and joy that transform a person (at least for a time), a very strong attraction and pull towards something or someone, a readiness to give someone your heart.

Under The Lovers, it is characteristic of a person to run headlong and sing about their love to the whole world (or the whole internet), shouting that all ages yield to it and its impulses are beneficial. They currently have their own reality, where the sun is brighter, the grass is greener (never mind that it's the depths of February outside), and the moon is always full. Romantic excitement, of course, can manifest itself in different ways, depending on character, but the diagnosis is usually clear to everyone: there is an arrow in the heart! Under The Lovers, both true love and inappropriate sentimentality, empty passions, and ridiculous infatuations can go; a hint about the true nature of this state can be given by other cards. It is one thing when The Empress, The Hierophant, and The World are nearby, and another thing when it's The Fool, The Devil, and The Tower. The Lovers are exceptionally susceptible to the influence of surrounding cards. Neighboring cards often also indicate what a person's attitude towards love is, towards relationships in general, towards finding themselves in them. Sometimes this is a search for love as salvation from all problems, and from oneself as well.

If this card is the significator of the querent, then right now they are unambiguously governed by the heart, emotions, and not by reason and calculation. Feelings have been set free, possible consequences are of least concern (although precisely with this card, a connection usually has highly significant consequences). Attraction, love, and the voice of the heart take center stage in life and spiritual experience. The Lovers can speak of a passionate infatuation with some ideal or idea.

This card also points to a striving for the fullness of life, to a time of satisfaction, harmony, and balance, the unification of the male and female qualities of nature.

Sometimes the card symbolizes a person who connects people and smoothes out contradictions, a mediator. It also speaks of attractiveness, beauty, sensuality, eroticism.

This card asks - what and who do you love? What and who do you choose at this stage of life? What is the nature of this choice? In essence, The Lovers is the "tuning fork" component of a person.

This is that inner knowledge "by heart" of what is good and what is bad personally for you, which is impossible to fake or deceive. You can choose not to listen to it, you can pretend that you do not hear or know, you can act against it, but the tone does not change because of this.

Under The Lovers, a person abandons one way of life for another. Under The Lovers, they strive for unity, wholeness, and happiness.

This card makes a person uncompromising in terms of choices and obligations. Karmically, The Lovers speak of the experience of a love for which it is not frightening to die. The price of such a memory turns out to be expensive - subsequently, the person organically does not recognize either conveniences or fakes, and no arguments of philistine reason can save them.

This is a card of human love, which is an integral and inseparable part of life itself. But there are also other types of "marriage" and other types of opposites that need reconciliation and connection through love. The Lovers represent the attraction of opposing forces; this duality is reflected in all aspects of existence, and in the struggle and union of a man and a woman it manifests itself most clearly. The Sixth Arcana describes a stage of spiritual development at which a person realizes practically opposite sides of their nature. They try to choose one and suppress the other (the principle of a poorly worked-out opposition). The Lovers, however, symbolize not so much a struggle as a union of these opposites within ourselves, the ability to accept with love the most diverse properties of our nature - after all, even those we do not approve of are somehow needed for further life and the continuation of our growth. This can be the connection of consciousness and the unconscious into some synergistic and creative unity. This can be the reconciliation of "reality" and "shadow". Each of us has positive and negative qualities, those we accept and those that torment us, make it hard to live, it seems, and which we would prefer to get rid of.

"The Lovers" call to explore and reconcile opposites within ourselves, and not to try to remove them or somehow change them. Understanding and accepting both sides of oneself, a person becomes a creatively productive unified whole (the result of the merging of lovers is the conception of the new). The internal conflict does not altogether cease to exist - but both sides get the right to live together (not necessarily completely cloudless, but a "honeymoon" is possible). Because this task is complex, commitment is required to achieve it. One should not simply acknowledge their existence, but understand that between them there is an indissoluble, divinely established bond and an obligation to achieve a fruitful synergy, to become a single whole. Opposites are not necessarily good and evil. These traits within ourselves or in another person are mirror reflections of each other, mutual complements, and support. It is necessary to achieve the unity (even in struggle) of these opposites, make them work together (for this, an attraction of crushing force is needed, which cannot be overcome and thereby avoid the task) and create something greater than just the sum of the parts.

Psychologically, the pair of Forefathers depicted on the Arcana (The Lovers are associated with Adam and Eve) can be viewed as the male and female components of the human being. The return to Eden, to the source of life, requires the unification of these two aspects of existence. If we consider the sequence of the Major Arcana as an allegory of the spiritual path, then at the level of the Zero Arcana this unity is present, but completely unconsciously. Further, awakening at the level of The Magician, a person sequentially forms their individuality, encounters earthly and sacred manifestations of the masculine and feminine principles (The High Priestess and The Hierophant, The Empress and The Emperor), and at the Sixth Arcana reaches a stage when they become aware of the simultaneous existence, the unbreakable interconnectedness of these two principles, and at the same time - their separation by contradictions. The lovers do not hold hands, do not look into each other's eyes. There is no unity here (which will truly be achieved only in The World) - here there is simultaneous vision, awareness, and opposition, and the Tree of Knowledge is not the Tree of Life. The universal law of the attraction of opposites - Eros - brings not only joys but also suffering, and it is only true that sexuality is an impulse to regain a lost part of ourselves. Spiritually and alchemically, this is the card of the Sacred Marriage, passionate and deep feelings, comprehension of the mysteries of life, the beginning of the Great Work to restore lost unity and wholeness. The three figures on the card symbolize different aspects of the personality: the man - the conscious mind, the woman - the unconscious, intuitive, and emotional side, the angel - higher knowledge. Symbolically, behind the man is the Tree of Life, behind the woman is the Tree of Knowledge.

Astrologically, the card correlates with Gemini, also with Libra and the trans-Neptunian Cupid. In the Hamburg School of Astrology, Cupid (associated precisely with the Sixth Arcana) is responsible for synthesis, connecting details into an overall picture - this is exactly the meaning that The Lovers hold on a deep level, expressing a tremendous striving for unity, for a "common denominator". Here, in the form of a male and female lover, the mystical connection of opposites in the world as a whole is reflected. The splitting of consciousness into internal and external worlds, into life and death, into man and woman - and all the ensuing contradictions are connected with the sign of Gemini. Communication, overcoming internal resistance and disagreements - too. Gemini reflects, above all, the perfection of perception, its precision, subtlety, and sensitivity, because to recognize the highest channels and choose the right path to them amid life's vanity requires very subtle perception. Our rational constructs beat around the bush of truth, which remains between two opposite answers. Cognition occurs only at the moment of a dual representation of things, on neither of which reason can settle: two opposite thoughts are two mirrors opposite each other, revealing an infinity of reflections of what is between them. The medieval execution of the classic Sixth Arcana implied a depiction of mountains, a person standing at a crossroads, and an angel of love taking aim with a bow at a woman in a floral plain. The meaning was that there are two paths before a person: to give oneself to the world, to a woman, to flowers - and die in a spiritual sense, or, withdrawing from the worldly, to go into the mountains to death in order to be freed for spiritual life in other worlds, and then be reborn as an Angel - a purely spiritual being. Mountains are a symbol of the completed realization of the personality, astrologically symbolized by the planet Saturn.

According to the mystical tradition, the Arcana offers the initiate a choice between the royal path of knowledge, requiring vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, and their antipodes, wealth, excesses, and power, which will inevitably lead to a dead end. The Sixth Arcana points to the mechanism of the volitional act of a person who consciously reacts to the opportunities provided to them by the world. When making any decision, one should be guided by analogy ("as above, so below"), and always remember that the achievement of a goal is impossible without love for the world. It is believed that for people following an esoteric path, The Lovers have the meaning of Initiation, the transition to a new stage of spiritual development (and in a reversed position they speak of unreadiness for this or that the person failed the test, as if they chose the wrong answer on a multiple-choice test).

In the Marseille and some other variants of the Tarot, the card depicts not two, but three human figures - one young man and two young women. One of the young women personifies purity and innocence, while the other presents the image of a brazen seductress. The plot emphasizes the great risk lying in wait for the young man - making a mistake, choosing the outwardly more attractive and easily accessible "wrong thing". The card had (and has) other execution variants as well. Some of them depict practically a wedding ceremony in which a priest (or God himself) joins a young man and a young woman (Adam and Eve) with sacred ties. In Crowley's deck, the Arcana depicts the marriage of The Emperor and The Empress, and the ceremony is conducted by....The Hermit! This emphasizes that true love is always a part of the Path, and not an obstacle to spiritual ascent; the higher Self blesses such a union without hesitation. Another variant of the card depicts a young man standing between the figures of two women, the first of whom is an angel, the guardian of man, and the second is an ever-present demon. The young man stands at the beginning of adult life before a crossroads where he must choose between virtue and vice, the eternal and the transient. At the top of the card, in a circle of light, it is not Cupid at all that is depicted, but the Genius of Fate (his star).

If youth makes the wrong choice - the arrow of Fate will strike it. The "crossroads" reminds a person that the price of free will, the power of choice - is responsibility.

The necessity to choose between two paths in life, two professions, two fields of activity. Often the card falls out when a person feels tempted to turn a hobby into a job or receives some other enticing offer. Wise decisions, right choice.

This is a lucky card for joint ventures, business partnerships, and teamwork. Individual projects, isolation, or grand claims to leadership - this is clearly not the place. The principle of complementarity and creative union of efforts for the common good operates here. Alliances, partnerships. Unanimity, harmony, trust, ability to compromise.

Cooperation, the possibility of harmonious resolution of problems.

Pleasure from work.

Event-wise, The Lovers can indicate the conclusion of contracts, company mergers, the creation of alliances, and all sorts of events related to teambuilding, creating teams (again, searching for and bringing to a "common denominator"). Sometimes the card describes true fanatics of their craft, people who treat it with genuine passion. The profession is so significant to them that any husbands-wives, friends-girlfriends are no competition to it - work comes absolutely first.

There is also an opinion that The Lovers advise you to try with all your might to enter the highest echelons of management in order to constantly keep your "finger on the pulse," to be in the closest possible contact with the people on whom "everything depends." Sometimes this really turns out to be a "career through the bed," but more often it is still the formation of personal trust, human relationships that surpass business protocol.

There is a high probability of making a profit as a result of an alliance with a partner (business or otherwise). Perhaps substantial help will be provided by a spouse or loved one. Receiving financial support for the development of a project.

A card of deep feelings, responsible choices, when the voice of the heart prompts the right path. Complete sincerity, following the call of the heart, the power of true love.

Of course, The Lovers is the beginning of a new strong feeling or the preservation and strengthening of an old one, the promise of a new romance, the forging of new relationships, good relations between people. Mutuality and harmony in relationships, affection and devotion, a strong bond, reckless self-giving. If confirmed by other Arcana - entering into a successful marriage. This is a card not only of passion but also of mutual obligations - here two stand in the presence of a Higher Power, so they are bound by mutual obligations (as a rule, not so much before earthly law as before cosmic law).

A more optimistic card for those who wish to enter into a relationship cannot be wished for. But there are subtleties here. As Akron and Banzhaf write: "The desire to find a lost paradise through union with another person cannot be satisfied as long as you avoid the void at the expense of a partner who 'completes you,' possessing exactly what you lack. It is impossible to meet a soulmate at the expense of some external actions or a certain sum of opportunities. The point here is not about going to a disco or to 'how to get married' seminars. The only thing that will help is a true inner readiness, which means much more than just the desire to meet your other half. This means that you really want and are ready to meet Him or Her, without any conditions and doubts." In other words - when it really is your choice. They also write "This card reflects sexuality and love with all its contradictions, and also symbolizes the alchemy of the Universe. It is amazing how a civilized, superlogical, self-oriented person still manages to exist...

Sexuality is a magnet that keeps a person within the bounds of eternity, helping to step beyond oneself and seek encounters with other people. In order to build a true loving relationship, a person has to make a choice - to abandon their former free lifestyle, the status of a free person, the parental home, and also openly confess their love to only one person. The necessity of these bold steps is the reason why the Arcana is called Choice".

Another important aspect of this card, distinguishing it from the Two of Cups: The Lovers are an indicator of love, friendship, cooperation, or other intimacy of two people between whom there is some BARRIER. These two souls must overcome it to truly merge. There is an element of antagonism, confrontation here, and that is good. Opposing traits in a person with whom we establish a connection are our reflection, resource, complement, and support. Usually, a partner reflects and manifests those aspects that are undeveloped, repressed, or unspiritualized within ourselves. That is why the "real" partner at first usually causes not only attraction but also a fair amount of irritation. We see in another what we lack, but we can relate to this in different ways, from "hooray, you have this!" to "what a piece of work you are!".

The Lovers say that it makes no sense to try to eradicate these qualities. As Napoleon Bonaparte said, you can only lean on what offers resistance. The Lovers suggest exhausting not only the experience of joy and happiness, but also of pain and struggle, as mutually enriching and opening one's eyes to oneself. In this case, precisely a clearly made choice and mutual obligations are that necessary element which connects those whose lives must flow together. At the highest level, The Lovers truly describe a connection and intimacy full of wisdom and creation, essentially - finding an "ideal partner" who is far from ideal, but truly the "other half." The question is, if the first half is not ideal, how can the second be ideal?! This may well be a difficult connection, embodying the unity and struggle of opposites, and peace, again, is only a dream. A union of antipodes between whom there is a mystical spiritual connection and mutual obligations (from the series "marriages are made in heaven" - karmically conditioned). Their lives must go together, despite what separates them and makes them antipodes. Each side contains traits needed by the other in order to survive and grow, to advance along the evolutionary path. At the final point of development, they will achieve a deep and beautiful relationship, great unanimity and empathy, warmth, and creative wisdom.

At best, they give each other desire and trust, truth and devotion, honor and passion. They are able to give themselves free rein in expressing feelings, as they have overcome the stage of struggle, the period of antagonism, the phase of conventions and reservations. This is the case when the other person is known so deeply and essentially that their sensations, happiness, and grief are of more concern than one's own.

At worst, they have yet to understand and accept each other, overcome contradictions, and become a single whole. They will be shocked when they one day realize the degree to which they are a pair. Love, sensuality, passionate desire, deep affection. Emotional experience of warmth, empathy, devotion, enjoyment of a harmonious union that brings out the best in both. In the neighborhood of favorable cards, this is truly the "bliss of lovers," which a person treasures extremely. Sexual harmony.

Choice between two life companions. The presence of two equivalent, equally strong relationships. The necessity to make some final decision (especially if swords dominate in the spread). This card can portend a love triangle, a situation when one of the lovers is bound by marriage ties, or when, for example, two brothers or two sisters are in love with one person, and other not particularly cloudless situations (surrounding cards will say more about this). This is especially true if the deck used depicts three lovers on the Arcana. In general, The Lovers is not always a "good" card in the sense that it is an easy one. The situation described by them, whatever it may be, could be the most dramatic moment in a person's entire life. And God forbid contemplating in a sleepless night a choice that you must - and have no right to make...

The tendency to endow a partner with the traits of one's own unconscious image, to create a projection thanks to which happiness and fulfillment are felt. The inclination to see in them a screen onto which it is convenient to project the portrait of the ideal other half, and not to notice their true nature.

Good health (the reversed card indicates health problems, with an emphasis on hormones). Sometimes The Lovers hint that the best medicine for a person is another person.

The meaning of the reversed Lovers is manifold. It can be unhappy, unrequited, unreciprocated love. Sometimes - sexual incompatibility. It can also be a purely spiritual, platonic union, a symbolic marriage between soulmates, which may well be hindered by material circumstances. In exceptionally rare cases, this can be an indication of the existence of an astral connection with a kind of daimon, anima, animus (moreover, such an invisible "astral half" can invisibly protect, help maintain health, fulfill creative functions; in exceptional cases, such a role can be played by a partner who has already departed this world, with whom the widower/widow nevertheless retained a connection). Surrounded by negative cards - problematic, immature, unhealthy relationships.

Old interpretations also point to such a meaning as a hasty marriage (which will almost certainly fall apart). That is, a wrong choice has been made, a person seemed to have "listened to the heart," but the trouble is that it missed the mark, its magnificent optical sight somehow failed. The wrong choice, reckless, sensible (even if a person is under illusions in this regard). Internal turmoil, confusion, split, conflict with oneself, inability to withstand a trial. Fatal attractions, a union that suppresses individuality, and unrestrained self-indulgence can also be described by the reversed Lovers, although nevertheless more often this role in the spread is taken on by the Fifteenth Arcana.

The reversed Lovers often indicate temporary problems in relationships, business or personal, their deterioration for some reason. Jealousy, possessiveness, dividing interests, in any case, the inability to achieve a romantic idyll. Sometimes - betrayal. Infidelity, dishonesty, unreliability. Separation (less often divorce). Disappointment in love, in marriage. Sometimes in an inverted position, The Lovers say that a person has realized their self, separated themselves from their "twin," become more independent, carved out personal space. If the question concerned the prospects of a relationship with a person of interest, then the reversed Lovers say: abandon hopes for a favorable resolution of the situation. Unfortunately, it will not happen. If the spread dealt with the possibility or impossibility of entering into marriage, then the reversed Lovers foretell the failure of matrimonial intentions. This card is highly pessimistic if a lonely person asks a question about prospects in personal life.

Many authors consider that it states more clearly than The Hermit or The Hanged Man that at this stage of life a person will not be able to find a companion for themselves. The only advice it can give is to learn to truly love yourself, regardless of whether there is a partner or not, to treat yourself as a valuable and worthy person. We can accept that we deserve to be loved only when we ourselves treat ourselves well, regardless of how much our personal life has "succeeded." Sometimes the reversed Lovers accentuate communication problems, misunderstanding from which side to approach a person to establish the necessary contact with them.

The card may say that a person's will is fluctuating between opposing forces influencing them, and they cannot make a choice because they do not know what they want themselves. Sometimes this can be a conflict between a calling, the will of one's higher Self, and loyalty and attachment to another person. Irresponsibility, the inability to make a sincere and honest decision. If the reversed Lovers appear repeatedly, then the person is a great specialist in making the wrong choices affecting other people as well, hence the feeling of guilt.

Traditional meanings: misfortune, failure. Immature plans, unrealistic goals, lost opportunities, bad choices. Irresponsibility, neglect of possible consequences, of the coming reckoning.

With The Fool - complete irrationality, "disconnected reason". Blind faith in the success of an enterprise and a readiness to follow the chosen path.

With The Empress - sexual contentment, enjoyment

With The Hierophant - stable principles, the ability to truly believe in them and act in accordance with them without any hypocrisy

With The Hermit - isolation, loneliness, a sexual chill

With Death - a radical rejection of the former way of life

With The Devil - a risk of infidelity, a threat to relationships. Strongest dependence on a partner.

With The Tower - the need to make a decision as quickly as possible, there is no time for reflection

With the Three of Swords - alienation, separation

With the Two of Cups - union, marriage, connection

With the Five of Cups - collapse of relationships

With the Nine of Cups - sexual pleasure, rapture

With the Ten of Pentacles - long-term unions, family ties

Adam and Eve.

Aphrodite, Venus.

Eros, Cupid.

Cupid and Psyche.

"A chain of flowers is harder to break than a chain of iron." "If you want to quench your thirst, open your palms; you cannot scoop water with clenched hands."