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Why Won't They Meet Me?

A spread for understanding why someone is avoiding a meeting.

9 cards

Category: Mysteries & the Unconscious

Spread Diagram

Why Won't They Meet Me? — Spread Diagram

Overview

This spread helps understand why a potential partner avoids meetings and does not make contact. It reveals what impression you make, what the partner thinks and feels when seeing you, what external circumstances hinder the relationship, and also what exactly repels the partner about your behavior and appearance. The final cards show the partner's reaction to your decisive actions and the prospects of the acquaintance for the next three months.

Card Positions

Position 1: General impressionThe general impression the Querent makes on the potential partner. How you are perceived overall — the first and main feeling you evoke.
Position 2: Partner's thoughtsWhat the partner thinks when seeing the Querent. Rational assessment, thoughts, and judgments that arise in the partner when they see you or think about you.
Position 3: Partner's feelingsWhat feelings the partner experiences in the Querent's presence. Emotional reaction — what the person feels, not what they think. Emotions may contradict thoughts.
Position 4: Partner's desiresThe partner's desires that arise when seeing the Querent. What the partner wants (consciously or unconsciously) when they see you. These are deep impulses that may be suppressed by reason.
Position 5: Main reason, external circumstancesThe main reason, external circumstances (who, what) that hinder the relationship between the Querent and the partner. Court cards in this position may indicate that the potential partner or the Querent already has a significant other.
Position 6: What repels in behavior?What the partner finds repulsive in the Querent's manner of behavior. Specific behavioral traits, habits, or manners that cause a negative reaction in the partner.
Position 7: What repels in appearance?What the partner finds repulsive in the Querent's appearance. This can be not only physical appearance, but also clothing style, demeanor, and body language.
Position 8: Reaction to decisive actionsThe potential partner's reaction to the Querent's decisive actions to initiate a relationship. How the partner will react if you take the initiative and make the first move.
Position 9: Prospects for 3 monthsWhat are the prospects of this acquaintance for a period of three months. The final card showing where the situation will lead in the near future and whether it is worth making any effort at all.

How to Read

Shuffle the deck while focusing on a specific person and the question 'Why won't they meet me?'. Draw 9 cards and lay them out: card 1 at the top (general impression). Second row — cards 3, 2, 4 (partner's feelings, thoughts, desires). Third row — cards 7, 5, 6 (appearance, circumstances, behavior). Bottom — cards 8 and 9 (reaction and prospects). Start reading with card 1 — it sets the tone for the entire spread. Then examine the partner's inner world (2, 3, 4) and external obstacles (5, 6, 7). Finish with cards 8 and 9 — they give a practical answer to the question.

Tips & Advice

Pay special attention to card 5 (main reason) — it most often gives the key answer to the spread's question. Court cards (Kings, Queens, Knights, Pages) in this position almost always point to a specific person — a third party standing between you. Compare cards 2 (thoughts) and 3 (feelings): if they contradict each other, the partner is experiencing an internal conflict — the head says one thing, the heart another. Card 4 (desires) may show suppressed attraction. Cards 6 and 7 are the most unpleasant but most useful: they honestly tell you what specifically about you repels the partner, and what is worth working on.

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